MS
by deletethisaccountdammit13
Summary: Totally a parody. So it's Harry Potter with a Mary Sue who turns out to not be so perfect. The HP characters and setting and bands and blah blah I don't own. Hope you enjoy (maybe). -M (T because IDK) The people talking in parenthesis are my inner thought On Hiatus
1. Say Hello to Mary Sue

AN: Okay, so I had this idea of making a Mary Sue satire thingy...um...yeah! So basically it's a Mary Sue who gets no powers of Mary Sue, maybe she'll find love somewhere but for now...hehehe... I guess it's in the 21st century. Mary Sue is going to be calling herself Mary. I will too, just remember her full name is Mary Sue~ (I'm so lazy).

I've been reading too much _My Immortal_ and other work by that author and her friend.

If any of my fans have the name of Mary Sue please know this is not about you, this is about the stereotypical character in fanfics, ya know? LIKE THE MAIN CHARACTER OF EVERY- *banging sound* ow! My friend alerted me that I was talking to much- *more banging* okay okay! I have no friends here, my cat's hitting me...ow, Vi!

Well, um..thanks for reading? Uh..oh, and if you think she should end up with someone send me a review or PM and tell me who. I have plans but I don't know if the person I want Mary Sue to end up with will be in this chapter.

Thanks to the people following my stories-or fics- I know there are things people will disagree with, so please tell me. I got feedback for the other fics, and I'm working hard to please people (along with myself). I haven't got any flames yet...yet. Hopefully I won't get any? If I do I think I'd read them, die a little on the inside, laugh because wait I spelled that wrong? Yeah.

Um..I forgot what my point was...oh! Review and message me! And thanks for all the support and love!

Anyway~

Story time:

Mary stepped off the platform to Hogwarts. She just got off the train. She also just found out how to, as she put it, 'magic properly' with her parents being muggles!

 _Wow!_ she thought. _This place is beautiful! I bet everyone here will love me like they did at home. I know it has to be, I got this name for a reason!_

The minute she turned around she saw a boy who was beautiful. He had blonde hair and grayish eyes. Oh, how he would love Mary Sue!

"Hello, I'm Mary, my parents are muggles but I-" she began.

"I don't have time to talk to a mudblood like you." The boy said, pushing past her (I'm sorry fans, but it seems like his character..you know who he is by now, right? Yeah).

Oh, but this Sue was persistent. "Wait, boy! Can I have your name? You'll be in love with me because I'm so beautiful!"

Silence from the blonde, he kept walking away. Mary Sue knew she'd be his love interest soon enough. Her with her long described hair (AN: Do I have to-*sigh* fine).

"I have black hair that was straight but curled at the bottom with a silver streak, and beautiful golden eyes! Of course I have a long description! That's why I'm perfect!"

Mary, like many before, considered herself to be a goth. She loved bands like, and not limited to (AN: I-I don't own these..t-this is nerve wracking to write), Dead Poet Society (AN: I-it is a band too! Promise), and Knuckle Puck. She loved horror movies and she disliked all people, unless they were goth...or hot.

Because Draco Malfoy wasn't what she'd call goth.

Mary, being the first year with everyone else, was stuck on a boat with three other girls. One is what she'd call a 'prep' with a smirk. She had dirty blonde hair, and green eyes, she wasn't thin. She was curvy (AN: IM SO SORRY BUT YES I SHALL DESCRIBE EACH GIRL BECAUSE THE MARY SUE INSIDE ME WANTS TO-also because it's a story about a Mary Sue, might as well). The other one, a nerd if you will, had brown hair. She was buried in a book about Hogwarts and it's history. The last one, Mary Sue was unable to place her, she had a lighter brown hair than the 'nerd'. She was sitting there, nervously tapping her fingers on her knee.

"I'm Charlie." The 'prep' said. "My parents have been in Hufflepuff, but they think I'm Gryffindor. We'll find out, yeah?"

The one reading looked up slightly. "I'm Noa. I have no idea, in all honesty I want to be in Hufflepuff."

The last one spoke. "I'm Hufflepuff. I know I am. I took quizzes online, and I got Hufflepuff each time. I'm Lilah."

Mary snorted, and rolled her eyes. In fact she thought she'd never get along with them. Not one of them said Slytherin. An online test? Really?

"What about you? What's your name?" Charlie leaned over Noa, tapping Mary's shoulder.

"I'm Mary. I don't know why I should talk to any of you."

Noa lifted the book close to her face, hiding her tears. She was new and the first thing she hears from someone is an insult, it was understandable.

Lilah patted Noa's back, smiling. She looked up at the sky and down at the water. She, then, proceeded to whisper: "We're here now, and it's a beautiful school filled with magic. We'll be best of friends, even if we're in different houses."

Noa nodded, smiling a bit.

Mary snorted, and hoped for the boat ride to end. She wasn't happy until she could get off the boat.

AN: So..um what did ya think? I wanna hear if you ship anyone yet, even if it's Mary. Maybe Mary will be Slytherin, but there's no way she'll be perfect.

So review and message? Cool!


	2. Charlotte is different

AN: A-a person liked it? *M smiles* I-I didn't think anyone would read this! Sorry, I'm excited. So I like a lot of characters, Mary Sue does not. No way does she like them, she's a Mary Sue. By stereotypes, she should hate people I like. So sorry.

Um..also if anyone has any suggestions tell me... um..

Yeah. Sorry, a bit socially awkward, even online.

Like, if I like a fanfiction I'll make fun of it or sometimes look away because I can't handle the cuteness.

YUP STILL SOCIALLY AWKWARD!

Well, I guess you don't care about that, so story time?

OH! Wait, so I'm being weird where Draco's there but some members of houses are friendly or more and blah blah. Phones and stuff are there.

Anyway.

STORY:

"Gryffindor!"

Charlie grinned as she heard the sorting hat. She knew she was Gryffindor! This proved it! She sat with fellow Gryffindors.

Professor Mcgonagall called more people, Mary watched each one.

"Hufflepuff!"

"Slytherin!"

"Gryffindor!"

"Ravenclaw!"

Mary was called up, she ran up to the sorting hat.

"Slytherin!"

Mary couldn't believe it, she knew she was perfect and will have everything handed to her but she was so happy! After Charlie stole Mary's phone for some reason, Mary was glad she didn't have to be with her (Charlie).

She sat next to Draco, he rolled his eyes at her. She felt slightly upset, wasn't she the main character?

She should get the love of her life!

She watched as that girl..what was her name? Lilah! Yeah, that was her. She sat down.

The hat shouted; "Hufflepuff!"

Next was Noa. The hat said; "Ravenclaw!"

 _Figures,_ Mary thought, _I mean, she wouldn't stop looking in that stupid book the whole boat ride!_

Mary watched as others got sorted into houses, sighing she listened to a speech. The headmaster gave a long boring speech in the perspective of Mary. When the food appeared Mary was more than happy to eat lots of it. It was great and it never ran out.

Mary was excited to see the Slytherin common room. It was just how she imagined-except not with posters of her favorite bands or people talking about how stupid preps were.

No. One person was even dating a Gryffindor. How dare they?

"Who's that-" Mary started.

"Oh, her?" The Slytherin replied. "That's my girlfriend, we live close to each other in the muggle world. I love her dearly."

Mary nodded, shocked the fellow Slytherin didn't get down on their knees and begged her to be their girlfriend.

She sat on her bed and looked at her phone. Somehow, on the boat, Charlie got her number. Awaiting on her phone was a text.

 _Hey Mary! So I totally stole your phone to get your number. Text me back, it's Charlie by the way. Not the Weasley. Everyone says I'm the girl version because of some older brother. I can't wait to find out who he is. So text me, okay? -Charlie._

Mary was disgusted. How dare she get her number and text her. Mary looked around and found a bed, her bed. She laid in it and closed her eyes. She could tell this girl was going to be annoying her for a long long-

 _Ring ring_

Mary answered, expecting it to be her parents or friends.

"Hello, Mare-bear."

That. Voice.

"Charlie?"

"Hey, you can call me Charlotte. I like you, you're a project."

"A project?" Mary's voice was filled with malice.

"Yes. You are rude and obnoxious. I have to wonder what it's like to be on your good side."

Mary stayed silent.

"Maybe you'll warm up to me, we can be friends."

Silence.

"Okay, call me tomorrow morning because I want to be your bestest friend!"

Mary hung up, glaring at the wall.

How annoying.

~next day~

Of course she had potions with Charlie. Of course.

Of course Charlie wouldn't shut up about how great friends they'd be, along with Noa and Lilah.

Of course Charlie insisted Mary called her Charlotte.

Why?

"When we're friends you can call me Charlie. Right now, to you? Charlotte. You're my project, Mary. I will be your friend."

"Whatever, freak." Mary groaned. She was not expecting this from Hogwarts, fanfiction told her otherwise. She was suppose to be dark and people would be scared of her. No one should have talked to her unless it was a boy confessing her love.

Because she only liked boys. Charlie-sorry, **Charlotte** -was not a boy. Therefore, she was not suppose to be talking to her.

"Mary, come on. Talk to me. You're being too quiet, I want to hear that pretty voice of yours-"

"Look. I'm not lesbian, so give it up." Mary said.

Charlotte laughed. "I have a girlfriend Mary, jeez. Don't assume everyone falls in love with you."

Mary felt herself flush from embarrassment. She looked away, this was the first time **she** was rejected; it wasn't normal.

"Good, I don't know why anyone would date you though. You're annoying."

"Eh, she doesn't know I'm a witch yet. I'll tell her over holiday break." Charlotte shrugged.

Mary nodded a bit, for some reason she was paying attention. She felt conflicted. She should tell her girlfriend she's a witch, but what if her girlfriend didn't accept her being a witch. Now that Mary thought of it, the wizarding world was scarier than she expected.

AN: So? Anything? Cool.


	3. Mary has warmed up to Lilah

AN: I'm having wayyyy too much fun with this. I should be updating my Hetalia and Fran Bow fanfics. Hm, well finals and school are over so I have all summer too.

Oh, fun fact I learned from a Harry Potter Facebook page: Slytherins are most likely to gain friendships with Hufflepuffs. Hufflepuffs won't likely judge on rumors. Slytherins will be unforgiving to whoever hurts their loyal friend. Therefore, the Hufflepuff does not need to get revenge and risk getting in trouble.

Could be fake, I don't know. I'm supposedly a Ravenclaw.

Cool?

Cool.

Story:

"Mary has potions with me~"

Charlotte (Charlie) was holding Mary in the halls during the one time they could loiter. After classes, before curfew.

Noa and Lilah were there. Charlotte took it upon herself to make sure those four would be best friends. Mary complained, saying they weren't her type to be friends. Noa just nodded. Lilah was excited and hugged the other three girls. At this moment Mary was noticing things she didn't before. How Noa began to stutter when she got nervous; how Lilah had a bright smile; how Charlotte always had a spark in her eye.

How they had personalities.

How they talked so highly of their families.

"What about your parents, eh Mary?" Charlotte grinned, slinging her arm over Mary's shoulder.

"Um, well-"

"They're mean, aren't they?" Lilah asked, tilting her head.

Silence. Mary was shocked, she thought the Ravenclaw house would be great at figuring things out. Not Hufflepuff.

"No. My parents love me. They think I'm perfect in every way." Mary said, turning her head the other way. It wasn't a total lie. They thought she had to be perfect, they yelled when she wasn't.

They hated if she was in any way imperfect, therefore she had to be perfect so they'd love her.

"That's a lie." Lilah whispered.

Mary was stunned by the other girls comment. She stared for a good five minutes. Lilah was smiling, her head still tilted. Mary glared slightly, earning a whimper from Noa who 'swore she felt the glare' even though she was behind Mary at the moment. Lilah stayed unfazed, eating a muffin she saved from breakfast. Where she saved it, Mary did not know. It stayed fresh, like it was just out of the over. Mary wondered if wizards had lunch bags or things from the muggle world. Mary was wondering why she was thinking about how to keep a muffin fresh when Lilah was invading her private life.

"What. Did. You. Say?" Mary took a step towards Lilah, who stayed in her spot. Mary wondered, then, why she (Lilah) wasn't in Gryffindor. Lilah was being brave in a way, because she could hear Noa whimper again from her (Mary) words.

"It's a lie. You look so upset, it can't be the truth Mary. We're your friends, you're allowed to trust us a bit." Lilah broke off a bit of her muffin and placed it in Mary's hands. "You shouldn't feel pressured or scared of us. Just know we're here for you."

 _So this is what it's like?_ Mary thought. _This is what it's like having real friends? Even though I've been nothing but rude they're being so kind and caring. I never had anyone do this before. All my other 'friends' were just following me because they were either scared of me or felt sorry for me. Do they actually care?_

Mary wanted to cry. She wasn't suppose to cry, but she really wanted to.

"Mary, it's okay to not tell us. Be sure to know we're here for you." Lilah smiled once more, hugging the 'perfect' girl in front of her.

"Yeah, thanks Lilah. Um, what kind of muffin is-"

"Blueberry!" Lilah smiled.

Mary, who hated blueberries, took a huge bite from the muffin piece she was given. Forcing back the gag and smiling at Lilah she said: "It's amazing, thank you."

And just this once Mary felt safe around other people.

"Can I have a bit?" Noa asked, looking at the muffin.

Mary nodded and broke off a bit of hers.

Charlotte whined, and Lilah gave some more of hers away.

As much as Mary didn't want to admit it, she was actually enjoying their company.

"So what should we do before we have to go to our common rooms? I totally want to stay with you all for as long as I can, because we can be the best group ever." Charlotte glanced at Mary, smirking. She, then, added; "Once we all become friends you all can call me Charlie."

Mary snorted, wondering why she felt so comfortable with these girls. She wanted to be hostile, yet she couldn't bring herself to be that way.

Noa nodded, "I'm hypothetically Noelle. I'd rather be called Noa, even if I wasn't friends with you guys."

Charlotte grabbed Noa and hugged her close. She (Charlotte) ruffled her (Noa) hair. For some odd reason, Mary couldn't help but smile.

"Maybe we could just stand here like idiots? Maybe?" Mary said, leaning against a wall. "Or-just hear me out-we could find some place to sit. Like a bench?"

Lilah nodded, smiling. She took Mary's hand and pulled her to a bench, with their friends following close behind.

 _Maybe..just maybe... this year won't be so bad._ Mary thought, smiling at the Hufflepuff. Mary was considering dropping Sue from her name, or maybe changing her name to Margret.

That way she wouldn't be so pressured right?

"Hey, if you want you can come hang out with me on holiday breaks Mary." Lilah offered, smiling. "It'd be fun if you don't wanna see your family?"

Mary nodded a bit, smiling. "Thanks, you're welcomed at my house too."

That's when Mary noticed what happened. She just considered Lilah her friend. She was confused, why would she warm up to the Hufflepuff first when it was the Gryffindor who first spoke to her?

(AN: Could it have to do with the fact I learned last night on Facebook?)

"What about us Mary?" Noa puffed out her cheeks.

"Yea, yeah. You two can come." Mary rolled her eyes.

"Cool!" Noa smiled.

"Nice." Charlotte punched Mary's arm.

And when it came time for their first holiday break, they did exactly that.

AN: Cool. So that took a bit because I didn't have my computer for half a day, and I need time-I was watching YouTube...oops...haha.

Well, thanks for reading? Yeah! Thanks!


	4. Lilah's family

AN: I really like writing this it makes me happy, so yeah. Um, thanks for reading again I hope you like this. This takes me out of the real world and makes me feel better about my future (yes M, because you writing fanfiction makes the world a better place...what an idiot).

By the way, I'm total Harry Potter trash now. Not only do I ship everything that's not canon (and only one straight couple), but I ship Percy with two people who are never going to be canon. Oliver Wood and (oh god no they're going to say it, someone kill M before they-) Marcus Flint (WHY DID NO ONE KILL THEM?! UGH). This is why I have no friends (Yes you do. They do love you and they hate your ships. Go sit in a corner and think of what you have done M).

I'm a disappointment to the little fans I have, if you're still here.

Just..just by the way sometimes I do time jumps in stories and it's confusing so just now we jumped in the TARDIS for this (AKA M has idea. M skips time. M does time jump and writes. M is an idiot). Cool? Cool!

Story time:

"Who are these, Lilah?" Lilah's mother stood at the door, tall and her hair up. She had an apron covered in flour on it.

"Hello Mom. This is Charlotte, Noa, and Mary. They're from Hogwarts."

"Oh, so I assume you're all friendly? Are you all Hufflepuff?"

"Oh, no. Charlie-"

"Charlotte. Not until we're besties."

"Charlotte in in Gryffindor. Noa's Ravenclaw. Mary's Slytherin." Mary was looking at them while Lilah said this. The reactions were different. Charlotte was grinning her confident grin; Noa was waving slighty; Lilah had a small blush. Lilah glanced at Mary, wondering if she felt safe. Mary instantly glanced away, leaving a frowning Lilah.

"Oh. Well, welcome to our house. I'm Lilah's mother. You girls make yourselves at home. Lilah, I cleaned your room for you, make sure your friends feel comfortable."

Lilah nodded, taking her friends upstairs.

The room was cozy. It was not painted by a professional at all. Mary knew some little kid smeared purple and pink on the walls with dots of white and one nicely painted black tree.

"I painted the walls in kindergarten. My mom made the tree." Lilah laughed nervously. "I really loved purple. It's not blended well but I'm too lazy to fix it." She flopped on her bed.

"It's cute." Mary said, sitting next to the first one she considered her friend.

"Hey, Mare-bear. Thought you weren't lesbian." Charlotte said, grinning more. Noa could hear the engines in Charlotte's brain clacking away.

"I'm not. Also, you can call me 'Mare-bear' when I can call you Charlie."

Mary wasn't totally lying, she sort of liked girls a bit. Wait, what was she thinking? She was straight. She did not have any feelings towards women. Only Draco, who would love her, was the person she had feelings for. She knew this because of his hair and his personality-wait a minute. He called her a mudblood. She deserved better, she was a Mary. God. Damn. Sue. She'd find someone who fell for her the first time they met.

"Fine, fine." Charlotte sighed, opening her phone. "My girlfriend is so pissed I'm not there for Christmas. I should tell her I'm a witch, huh?"

Noa nodded quickly.

Lilah smiled and gave a thumbs up.

Mary raised an eyebrow. "We talked about this..when? Half a year ago? You still haven't told her why you haven't been able to see her all these years?"

"Nah, I'm gonna call her now."

With that, Charlotte reached in her bag and called her girlfriend. She told her everything, and the reaction was anything but pretty with screaming and name calling. Yet Charlotte remained smiling, and the three others didn't know why until they heard her girlfriend said-softer this time- "I love you, you idiot. Be more honest and tell your friends there I say hi."

"Babe, they're here. They said hi. Now I love you, but I have to go, happy Chanukah baby." Charlotte hung up, looking at the other three. "She's Jewish, that's why I said that. I celebrate Christmas."

"Religions religion, it's chill." Lilah smiled, moving her head onto Mary's lap.

As for opinions of Mary from the other three girls.

Charlotte thought Mary was plain.

Noa thought Mary was a human. Therefore she can't judge, because she is simply a bunch of different atoms and molecules.

Lilah can't lie, she thought Mary was cute. She knew Mary was too dense with social cues to know Lilah was the only one who felt Mary was beautiful. Lilah also picked up on Mary not being as straight as she thought, and could tell she only liked Draco because he was the proper pureblood. She assumed Mary's parents would love him, and she was unsure how it would be if Mary brought Lilah home.

Lilah also had a very unrealistic-as she would put it-imagination.

"Lilah! Dinner's ready! You and your friends clean yourselves up! Wash your hands, dear!" Lilah's mother called.

"Coming Mom!" Lilah sat up. "Come on, gals. We should get ready for food. My mother has been cooking like a mad man since she found out you all were coming. She was so excited I had friends already she just had to make ten million different dishes-including desserts-for you three plus us. Hope you're all in for some food, because you're about to eat a lot."

"Can't be too much, right?" Noa asked, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Nah, just some. Don't worry Noa-" Charlotte was cut off by Lilah.

"Oh, it's a lot probably. Maybe the same much in the great hall. My mom has no boundaries when it comes to cooking. She will make any food in her mind or in books; and she has ten million books."

The other three laughed, but the minute they walked down they regretted it because the room was filled with all different kinds of foods. Poultry, beef, fish, veggies, fruit salad, potatoes, eggs, and more. As they ate Lilah added; "And people ask me why I'm so chubby. Isn't her food brilliant?"

The other three nodded. The minute they saw dessert they froze. Pudding, pies, cakes, ice cream, everything they could ever imagine.

Lilah wasn't kidding. It was a lot of food.

The minute they finished they went upstairs the four girls collapsed on Lilah's bed, full and tired the fell asleep next to each other.

AN: Haha! I finished another chapter four! Cool cool! See y'all in a couple days or tomorrow. I don't know if I'll have time. See you-or...or you'll read and-you get it.


	5. The circle for talking

AN: I am 95.9861% (M enjoy numbers, don't judge them) sure you're so done with Mary Sue having someone like her. I am too, but I felt bad at one point because all my characters find love, so I felt double bad. My original plan was she wouldn't have any friends or any significant others. I gave that up when I remembered I need to write romance, because I suck at writing other genres (you suck at romance too, M). So very sorry someone is interested in Mary Sue, because I just couldn't help but make a Slytherpuff romance. Again, very sorry. This Ravenclaw is also a hopeless romantic, so that's why Mary Sue even gets the person to have a crush on her. Because each time this Ravenclaw starts to date, they're either not in love or the mess it up.

Sorry, that was my life. You all don't care about that.

Also I noticed I wrote "after all these years" in my last chapter. I meant after all this time. I-I have no idea what I'm doing giving Charlotte a girlfriend at 11... I'm a disappointment, I should go be like the authors of those other Mary Sue fics.

 **(WARNING: M IS ABOUT TO MAKE TO MAKE FUN OF THE ILLITERATE MARY SUES JUST LETTING YOU KNOW SO SKIP UNTIL YOU SEE BOLD AGAIN).**

*Clears throat* tHONks foR the REVEwa

Sorry...I-I just... I wanted to.

 **(Okay, M finished)**

Story time? Also I'm really sorry. Um, since I jump time...a lot... I'm going to say this is at their third year. I'm such a disappointment I'm sorry. W-well, at least I'm not killing the canon too much.

Story:

"Mary, wake up."

Mary groaned, looking up at the face in front of her. Noa was tugging at her arm, repeating "Mary wake up."

"I'm up, what's up? Mary sat up slowly. "What time is it?"

"It's one, well, in the morning." Noa whispered.

"Why am I awake-"

"Have you never had a slumber party?" Lilah smiled, looking up from her position on the floor.

"Yeah, but we never ate that much." Mary said. She pushed Lilah slightly with her foot. "I'm tired."

"Well you know then that very late at night is the time where we talk. About boys-"

"Ahem." Charlotte glanced at Lilah, then at herself.

"Or girls, feelings, drama. Anything of that nature." Noa finished for Lilah, sitting next to Mary.

"Fine, sure. Let's talk. So Charlotte has a girlfriend. So are you off the 'let's talk about cute people' list." Mary looked at the standing Charlotte.

"Just because I can't order doesn't mean I can't glance at the menu." Charlotte shrugged, grinning.

"That's so wrong, alright what about you Noa?"

"Um.. Terry Boot looks pretty I guess. He's cute." Noa said, looking down. "I just don't want to date anyone right now, it seems a bit soon does it not? I'm going to be fourteen soon, so I don't know."

"And you, Lilah?" Mary turned to the Hufflepuff.

"Oh! Well, yeah I have a crush on this one person but I don't think she likes me back."

The three other girls paused. "Wait, who is she?" Mary asked, and even though she was a Sue for once in her life she didn't assume herself.

"I'd rather not say she's sort of important to me. She's very dense when it comes to her own love life."

"Lilah, come on you can trust us." Noa said.

"I do, it's just-well she can hear me usually so I'd rather not."

"Oh, so she sends owls to you ever?" Charlotte asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes." Lilah lied. "She sends owls a lot so if her owl hears it'll be a disaster."

The other three nodded.

"What attracted you to her?" Noa asked, still in a whisper.

"Her being so stupid, her not knowing everything about herself too. I figured out so much about her when I first saw her, she still has no idea."

"She sounds like an idiot." Mary said, smiling and hugging the Hufflepuff.

 _Oh the irony,_ Lilah thought. "What about you Mary?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't know really. I used to think Draco would love me but he's just plain rude. I don't know why I was expecting otherwise, Hogwarts isn't like my old school at all."

"What do you mean?" Noa asked, looking at her.

"At my old school other kids felt sorry for me, made me feel perfect in every way. I had to be perfect because if I wasn't my parents would say I wasn't their daughter. I went on a date when I was seven on the request of my own mother. The boy was eleven and he didn't even look at me. He was getting paid by my parents to show me how I was suppose to act on dates."

"Dude, that's rough." Charlotte said, smile wavering. "So that's why you assume-"

"Yes, that's why. I assume so I can please my parents, so they won't ignore me. I don't want to be isolated at home so I have to assume everyone will like me and work for that to be my reality. This is a slumber party, not a pity party. What's your home life like Charlotte?"

"Mom loves me, have no idea where my dad is. It's okay, my little brother's two, he showed his first sign of accidental magic a couple months ago. Girlfriend loves me and I love her. I'm expected to be myself. Noa?"

"Um, as long as I'm not too loud my parents are okay. They're very fancy, so they host parties a lot with expensive items, so I'm usually in my room silently reading. Lilah?"

"Oh, we're in a circle now? Well, as long as I don't come home pregnant it's all okay! They tell me to be careful and not to feel pressured to have sex. Oh, and no drugs or alcohol. That's the rules here. Plus being quiet if they're asleep so they can get a good nights rest."

"That seems fair." Mary said, letting a smile show.

Mary and Noa moved to the floor as Charlie sat down, creating the circle Lilah spoke of. The girls talked for the rest of the night, of family or work. They brought up their desired pets and favorite types of fudge. They talked until around seven in the morning, until they passed out on the floor.

AN: So that's chapter five, cool huh? No? Okay. Well thanks for reading, I'll update tomorrow.


	6. Growing closer

AN: PHILLY PRIDE WAS YESTERDAY! It felt amazing, but I'd like to keep in my mind Orlando and LA. My mom was scared I'd get shot, nothing happened. It was a nice time though. So I'm writing this at 20:37 (I use army time). So sorry if I didn't update.

I know one person who's reading this-maybe they stopped, I don't know-and I update each day.

I'm a nerd (that's rude to all nerds for them to be compared to you, M).

So it's actually been a week because I work and well I have no time to write after work. I'm back now.

Let's get this show on the road!

Story:

Soft breathing filled the air. Soft breathing and of course mumbles of a Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor.

"Cute."

The sound of giggling.

"I can't wait until she wakes up and sees this."

"Noa take a picture!"

Lilah was fast asleep, hugging Mary. Noa took a picture, a request from Charlotte. Charlotte watched, giggling her way through it. Mary was still asleep, head nuzzled into Lilah's bosom. Noa and Charlotte bit their tongues, trying not to laugh too hard. What could they say? It was pretty amusing to see the girl who was hostile all cuddled up against the puff.

"Noa do it again!"

Lilah woke up to those words, Mary woke up to a flash (and to two circular things in her face). She bolted up, looking at Lilah, who had a deep blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks. Those circular 'things' were boobs, and Mary was nuzzled up against them.

Mary, then, remembered why she was awake. "Delete. The. Picture."

Charlotte laughed, stepping in front of Noa to protect her.

Noa smiled a bit, letting out a giggle.

"Come on, gals." Lilah said, leaning over Mary to get the camera. This ended with her falling and taking Mary down with her.

"Alright, alright! Jeez, we'll delete it!" Charlotte said, clicking the delete button. She grinned, sitting next to the fallen pair.

Noa sat down quickly, smiling her shy little smile. She was wondering what was going through Lilah's head as she sat there, was she embarrassed or happy of the position she was in on the ground? She wasn't complaining like Mary was.

"Lilah, you're heavy!"

Lilah smiled, and shrugged. "I thought you were so strong, right?"

"I am," Mary said. "But it gets annoying having to carry you on my back."

 _Imagine our wedding and her saying that!_ Lilah thought. _She's carrying me, I can't carry that much._

Mary had her own mind running around.

 _Why is she blushing? Hm, it is pretty warm in here. Why does she look nervous, well I'd be nervous having my friends see my family. Guess it's nothing. Maybe she likes Noa or Charlotte? Yeah, she probably likes one of them. That seems reasonable._

Mary, for a first, assumed Lilah liked someone that wasn't her. Maybe because it was fate for her to be dumb when people ACTUALLY liked-or even loved- her. Or because the author enjoys messing with their characters sometimes. No one will really know for sure.

"I want to be carried, though." Lilah said, hugging Mary from behind. "Up, up, up and away!"

Mary stood up, sighing and running around the room. She laughed a bit, loving the feeling of holding Lilah. She didn't know why, though.

 _Maybe Lilah and I'll be best friends, who knows?_ Mary thought, catching a glance of Lilah's smile. She felt herself blush.

"I wanna be carried.." Noa mumbled, frowning. She fancied herself a boyfriend. "I guess I'll wait for my prince charming, yeah?"

"Yeah, I guess." Charlotte murmured, watching Lilah nuzzle her head into Mary's neck. Mary blushed more, saying for her to get off. Lilah just nuzzled more. Mary twisted and turned, trying to get Lilah off. She finally just pranced around the room once more. "Oi, Noa do you think-"

"Yes. I'm quite sure-"

"I thought I was alone, is it obvious to you too?"

"Yep."

Mary and Lilah looked at the two other girls. "What are you talking about?" Lilah asked. She slid off Mary's back, feeling the chill of having no one for her to hug. She frowned slightly at the lost of her crush's warmth.

Mary looked at Lilah's frown, and bit her lip. Why was she upset? What happened?

"Nothing, nothing. Don't worry about it, it was nothing." Noa smiled.

"Yeah, nothing!" Charlotte grinned, holding up a peace sign.

"Come on, tell us!" Mary frowned, pouting slightly. Lilah blushed ever so slightly.

The pout was pretty cute to her.

"Nah, it's alright you don't have to know. Don't worry about it, okay?" Noa said, giggling slightly. Mary glared.

"Mary, don't glare. It's kind of scary." Lilah whispered in her ear. Mary's face softened at those words, looking at Lilah.

"Sorry, force of habit. Quite used to glaring."

Lilah nodded, as if she understood. She didn't, but she pretended she did.

"I'm quite hungry," Lilah said, looking away from the other three. "I want to grab something to eat, how about you guys?"

Mary nodded slightly, Charlotte grinned and Noa had a quick nod.

"Let's go eat."

The three walked downstairs. Noa and Charlotte glanced at Mary and Lilah (who were having an argument about if bagels or pancakes were better), and the two smiled ever so slightly.

AN: In all honesty, my original plan was to have Mary end up with Charlotte. I decided Mary should get to know all the girls-okay a reader said she should. I decided Lilah next, and sort of got stuck on her...oops? Well that's all for today, sorry it took awhile. Haha, my Fran Bow one has gotten no attention and I need to write in that too. Sorry this is shorter than most chapters.


	7. A new feeling

**An: Hey..um...yeah hi. Haven't written in awhile, oops.**

 **Author notes will now be in bold.**

 **Story:**

"Good morning girls, breakfast is served!"

Lilah's dad served them pancakes, with eggs, and glasses of smoothies. It was nothing compared to the dinner Lilah's mother prepared.

"How'd everyone sleep?"

"Very well dad. It was great. I thought I could show them around. Charlotte is a pureblood, she doesn't see much muggle stuff, and Noa never went out much." Lilah said, looking at the girls. "Mary, you've seen this stuff before; you'll help me, right?"

Mary nodded, looking down. She took a bite of her eggs. She felt weird around Lilah now, and it started when Lilah talked about her glaring and managed to make her stop glaring. Lilah was the only one who could make her stop glaring, and it scared her.

"Cool, muggle stores! That sounds awesome! My parents never took me to these places!" Charlotte smiled, giving a peace sign.

"It sounds nice, thank you Lilah. I usually spend my holiday opening presents and going online. I'm famous for my fanart. Tumblr is my usual time-waster." Noa pushed up her glasses, smiling.

"Well, Lilah I'll give you some money for this. Be sure to treat your friends while you're out." Lilah's mom yawned, entering the kitchen. She made herself a cup of coffee, then looked at the girls. "Be careful, okay?"

Lilah nodded, taking a quick bite of her pancakes. She wanted to get out and show her friends fun things. "How about an amusement park?" She suggested to her friends, and hinted to her mother she'd need a bit more money if that was the case. Her mom smiled and nodded, "That's a fabulous idea, Lilah!" Lilah's mom ran to get her purse and give her daughter a bit more money for the trip. "Be sure to take pictures so I can see what my sweet daughter and her friends are doing."

"Mom!" Lilah blushed. How embarrassing!

"Sorry dear, very sorry." Her mother laughed a bit, picking up her coffee and taking a sip.

"Amusement park?" Charlotte tilted her head.

Mary choked on her egg. "You've never been to one?"

Charlotte shook her head.

"Oh god, well they're so much fun and there's rides. There's also games, but they're always rigged and it's impossible to win them. It's still loads of fun, oh and it's all junk food which is fun." Mary looked at Lilah, smiling. "Isn't it, Lilah?"

Lilah became even more flustered-if that was possible-and nodded quickly.

The girls quickly finished their breakfast and left.

In the living room Lilah's mom sat next to Lilah's father.

"She's got a crush on that Mary girl, doesn't she?"

"Of course my little girl goes for the one girl who seems to be angry most of the time."

"Oh, Leonard, dear. I think it's perfect. She seems like a sweet girl. Let Lilah have this, alright?"

"Lillah what's that thing?"

The girls were at the amusement park. Charlotte was pointing at a ferris wheel.

"Oh, here let me show you. It's loads of fun." Lilah took her friends over to the ride. "It's two people per cart-"

"I call Charlotte!" Noa said quickly. She planned out the equation to get her two friends dating, and this ride maybe could help her. She noted every detail Mary and Lilah had when interacting with each other and memorized it in the back of her mind.

She wasn't trying to be creepy, just a matchmaker.

She wondered why all of her other friends got annoyed with her.

"Okay, well Mary. Shall we?" Lilah turned to the redhead ( **AN: Did I mention Mary had red hair** ) of their group. Lilah took Mary's arm, entering the contraption. Mary smiled at first, but the minute it was lifted from the ground her eyes widened and she grabbed Lilah's arm.

"What's wrong?" Lilah looked at her crush, the one person who made her feel like she was floating all the time. Mary didn't know, but Lilah was the only one who thought Mary was perfect in every way. "Are you scared of heights, Mary?"

Mary whimpered, nodding slightly and closing her eyes. This was why she never joined quidditch, because she'd be high off the ground. Her ultimate fear, besides the dark (she would never tell anyone that), thunder (it was far too loud), and, of course, her parents. They would kill her if she was anything less than perfect, she could never tell them her friends weren't Slytherin. She wouldn't tell them her fears or dreams, because they'd scold her for having those. She wanted to be calm and happy at home, to choose her friends, to not go on dates with people she didn't want to.

That's why, in Hogwarts, she felt alive for the first time. She had rights and choices, and she didn't want to be perfect anymore, no. She wanted to be normal, to laugh and trust her friends. To fall in love with a person of her choice, and she would be thankful each day.

She even considered dropping 'Sue' from her name.

"Just hold onto my hand, okay Mary. That's it, nice and easy love. Alright, almost done." Lilah blushed at the word love.

Mary felt her cheeks flush when she heard love, but ignored it. The minute the ride ended she jumped off and waited for Noa and Charlotte, who were having the times of their lives.

The two didn't bother to ask why Lilah and Mary were blushing, and continued their day as any normal one would be.

"Let's go play a carnival game! Look at the ducks, we can win fish?! Oh wow!" Charlotte smiled, running towards a dart game. With a small touch of magic, which was against the law, she won a gold fish. "I'll give it to my girlfriend and it'll be our son-hey, what are you laughing at Noa?"She grabbed Noa, ruffling her hair. Noa laughed more at her friend.

"You sound so weird, Charlotte! Your son?" Noa kept laughing at her friend's weird ideas. "Loser, come on let's get funnel cake. I heard it was good!"

Lilah nodded, giving Noa three dollars. Charlotte followed her. Lilah was about to, until she felt Mary grab her arm.

"Mary? What's wrong?"

"Um...I..nothing." What was she doing? She couldn't put or place it. She wanted to stop, but yet she felt like she needed to do something with Lilah. She wanted to kiss her. She leaned close, and hugged the girl. "I just wanted to thank you and say you're my best friend. No matter what, I love you."

Lilah smiled, blushing. "I love you too, bestie."

 **AN: Awwww I'm weird.**


	8. Akiss?

**AN: Heyo. Sorry, I've been tired after work lately so I kind of put off writing.**

 **Anyway.**

* * *

"I-I'm tired."

"I am too. Let's go back to my house, yeah?"

"Nah, we didn't go on all the rides yet!"

 **"** I'm with her, there's so many more rides!"

A Ravenclaw; a Hufflepuff; a Slytherin; and a Gryffindor. All in that order.

"Why don't we go in pairs? I'll go with Noa; Lilah and Mary can go together!" Charlotte smiled, pulling Noa away.

"Okay, so you're sure they're gonna start dating?" Noa smiled at Charlotte. She watched as Charlotte nodded, smiling.

"Hopefully it works, then we'll be able to call ourselves matchmakers. It's obvious they both want to bone, right?"

Noa smiled, nodding at Charlotte's words, as she thought they were anything but PG thoughts. She heard gears cranking in Charlotte's head as they looked at each other. Noa looked at her Gryffindor friend and remembered why she wasn't attracted to women; because the boy behind Charlotte was giving Noa looks and she couldn't help but get flustered.

~Meanwhile~

Mary couldn't shake off the need to kiss Lilah. She wanted to grab hold of that puffball (a nickname she would start calling Lilah that day) and kiss her all over. She wanted to cuddle with her, she was the one who made her actually come out of her comfort zone. She would've been at home, with a fighting set of parents, lonely if not for the puffball's invitation. She was so happy to be there, and she felt like Noa and Charlotte were making this so much better by letting her be partners with Lilah.

Lilah was also happy. She could be with her bestie. Her Mary. She wanted to know all about Mary, and hold her. She, also, wanted to kiss the Slytherin. She wanted to love her, and keep her at her own house. She originally invited her friends over just to have an excuse to have Mary over. She made sure to always be near Mary, even while sleeping she'd be the closest to her. It was all part of her plan to have the girl fall for her. She, in all honesty, thanked Charlotte and Noa for letting them be a pair.

Too bad both girls were too shy to act out on their wants.

"Hey, Lilah?"

"Yes?"

"My real name is Mary Sue. I hate it, because everyone expects me to be perfect; I'm not."

 _To me you are._ Lilah thought, but didn't dare say; instead she said, "Oh, Mary Sue is it?"

Mary nodded, looking down.

"Hm, when the others aren't around can I call you Sue?"

Mary looked up, she expected-for the first time-ridicule. Before her parents paid people to love her for her name. They pretended to love her name and praise it. Mary knew kids talked about her behind her back. She was at a sleepover (parents paid other kids parents) and heard the other girls.

~flashback~

 _"She's a spoiled brat."_

 _Mary hugged her teddy bear, listening from the doorway as the other girls talked about her. She squeezed the bear closer._

 _"I didn't even want to invite her, but my parents said it was for money. She thinks she's so much better than everyone; why? Because her parents are rich? Because her parents pay boys to date her? Because she's a freaking Mary Sue?"_

 _Mary felt herself tear up. She thought they were her friends, she thought they liked her._

~end of flashback~

"Mary? Can I?"

Mary looked at Lilah, wanting to cry. She nodded.

"Thanks, Sue. It makes me think I have a cute little nickname for you."

"Can I call you a puffball?"

"Huh?"

"Hufflepuff. Can I call you 'puffball'?"

Lilah nodded, smiling. "Only you can, no one else Sue. Got it?"

Mary nodded, touching Lilah's cheek. She rubbed her cheek, smiling. Lilah blushed, looking down. She put her hand over Mary's. She felt her heart skip a beat. She leaned closer, as did Mary.

"Hey losers-oh, am I interrupting something? I'll go." Charlotte backed up as she saw Mary's glare. Lilah blushed more, stumbling over words; trying to explain to her friend why she was standing there with Mary; about to kiss. She hoped they were going to kiss.

Mary, on the other hand, wanted to kill Charlotte. She was so close to kissing the girl of her dreams, but no. Charlotte came along and ruined it all. She moved her hand from Lilah's cheek and wapped her arms around Lilah's waist, pulling her close. "Yes. Now leave, it was very important." Mary was going to kiss the girl she, now, considered the girl of her dreams. After years of being forced to be Lilah's friend (courtesy of Charlotte) Mary noticed the Hufflepuff always bit her pencil in class. She always stared at Mary too. But as Mary saw Lilah's blush she wondered if Lilah didn't want her the same way she did.

She was wrong. Lilah was, though she'd never admit it, was pissed at Charlotte. HER DREAM GIRL WAS ABOUT TO KISS HER! HOW DARE SHE BE INTERRUPTED?! She smiled a bit, blushing more as she stared at Mary's darling face, she whispered "No glaring." Lilah smiled as Mary's glare disappeared and, without noticing, she cuddled into the Slytherin. She closed her eyes, content with the embrace from Mary. She wondered why other people would dislike the girl. She was kind once you got to know her, so it was weird Mary's parents had to pay people to be friends with their daughter; she was so lovable.

"Sorry, well Noa and I are actually getting tired now. Let's head back, don't make out on the way home."

Both girls blushed, and grouped with the other two. They made their way to Lilah's house. None of them mentioned what Charlotte saw.


	9. No we're not

**AN: Guitar lessons, fingers hurt. Fuck. D-chord is impossible (I just started, don't kill me).**

 **You all couldn't care less. You're here for the story.**

 ***Sighs***

 **I do enjoy reviews.**

* * *

Lilah and Mary were sitting on Lilah's bed, looking down. Charlotte was glaring, as Noa looked confused.

"Well?! Are you two going to say anything about what happened?"

"Erm..no." Lilah said, glancing at the Slytherin next to her. She caught Mary's eyes, and smiled. Mary smirked, letting out a small laugh. Lilah joined her, and they both laughed and laughed.

"Did I miss something?" Noa tilted her head.

"They were about to make out, I interrupted." Charlotte leaned back.

"N-no. We weren't going to." Lilah muttered. "I was just about to trip and she caught me. It was nothing, honestly."

Charlotte raised an eyebrow. "That's why your hands were all over each other?"

"Not all over each other, more or less just catching her by her waist and cheek. Nothing but that. Honestly, we'd never kiss. I mean-" Mary blushed a bit. Ideas entered her mind, of her kissing Lilah.

~Imagination of my character~

 _"I love you so much." Lilah breathed out, pulling away from a nice snog. "I've been longing for this."_

 _"I love you too, more than you ca imagine." Mary would say, pulling her for another kiss._

~End of Mary's~

"No way would we-" Lilah paused, blushing.

~Haha, Lilah gets one too~

 _"Hah...S-Sue. Oh jesus." Lilah would pull away, kissing down her lovers neck. Sweet fingers would run through her hair, as she made her way lower and lower and-_ ( **Oi, we need to keep a T rating** )

~End of it~

Charlotte and Noa looked at the two girls, who were blushing at this point. Both unable to say anything, they glanced at each other.

"We're not dating, still not gay." Mary said.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about Charlotte!" Lilah bit her lip.

Both girls let their minds wander, wondering about what they were-who they were. It was quite a conversation in their heads with themselves. It was making them think differently about the other, they became happy.

"Lilah? Mary? Hello? You two are spacing out again. Hello?"

"Oh, sorry what? I was thinking about when I'm older I'm getting a tabby cat." Lilah said, smiling.

"I want a cat too." Mary mumbled, looking down. Either they didn't hear her, or they pretended they didn't hear her, because they said nothing. Mary looked up at Lilah, smiling. Lilah had a small blush on her face, looking down the minute they made eye contact.

So Lilah had heard her.

"Whatever, I'm tired. Night."

"Night."

"N-night."

"Goodnight."

The four girls laid down and closed their eyes, letting slumber take them away.

* * *

 **Sorry it's short, I ran out of ideas. I'll work on this once I get more ideas.**


	10. Yearning

**AN: Heyyyyy..it's been awhile.**

* * *

"Lilah wake up and pack your bags! Oh, Noa I see, well I'm sure that book is somewhere around here! Oh, Charlotte-no it's nice just please put that spider down it looks poisonous-no Mary don't cheer the spider on." Lilah's mother was packing them up. It had gotten to the point where all of them were her children, she thought they all acted like siblings. "No! Noa, dear, here's your book-John! Help me out! The girls aren't even close to ready for the train!"

Lilah's father popped in. "Girls, come on! I want you all out of the house so I can go back to having a no-kid household."

"Dad!"

"John!"

"What, it's the truth. Now pack up girls. Don't want to miss the train, do you?"

"No." Mumbled all four girls. Charlotte threw the black widow spider out of the window, lucky she didn't get bitten. Noa packed up all her bags, as Lilah grabbed her owl. Mary picked up her cat (yes she had a cat, when she was little she would only hear about witches with black cats; her cat is a black cat). She pet it, smiling.

"So, everyone has everything? Good." Lilah's mother grabbed the floo powder, and each girl took their turn. It wasn't as much of an adventure as the boy Charlotte told them about, Harry Potter's, time. He got the words mixed up and said diagonally instead of diagon alley. It sounded like a funny story, and a weird adventure to go on. Mary wondered where she'd end up if she did that, maybe in a tornado.

She shuddered at the thought.

On the train, Lilah made it clear she would be sitting next to Mary. She practically sat on her lap, smiling. Mary put her arm around Lilah, unaware she was even doing that. Charlotte and Noa glanced at each other, sitting across from them. Charlotte winked at Lilah, then glanced between her and Mary, smirking. Noa bought them all pumpkin pastries and chocolate frogs. Mary was looking out the window, smiling as they passed many places and trees. This was her favorite part of the train ride. She loved it so much. She was unaware of Charlotte mouthing to Lilah how to ask Mary out.

"I missed Hogwarts." Mary sighed.

"Have you heard of Pigfarts? It's on Mars! It's headmaster's name is Rumbleroar. He's a lion. He can talk." Charlotte said, smiling. "If you're a good enough student, he'll let you ride on his back!"

( **AN: Yeah I brought A Very Potter Musical in this. No, I'm not sorry** )

"N-no. I haven't. S-sounds interesting. I'll r-research it." Noa said, smiling. She bit the head off a chocolate frog, smiling.

"Ah! We're almost there! Hurry, Mary, eat your frog!" Lilah said, thrusting a chocolate frog upon her. Mary, being the Slytherin she was, bit off it's legs and arms first. She then ate it's head, and finished with it's body.

"Dude, that's just torture." Charlotte shook her head, before hopping up. She opened their compartment door. "Be careful everyone, we don't want dementors or dragons. God knows what happened before our first year, well that was all according to Harry. He came back for his OWLS and his NEWTS. Told us all stories."

"Draco told me the same." Mary said, making Lilah frown.

Draco. The boy who she believed stole Mary's heart. He was awful, the way he treated muggles. Yet, for some strange reason, Lilah could see Mary with him. Because when Mary spoke of him, she could hear what she believed was a hint of dreaminess in her tone.

Mary, of course, dropped the idea of being with Draco. She wanted her puffball, her beautiful friend who was too shy to notice her love.

"Dude, I love you guys." Charlotte said. "You can call me Charl-"

"I-I prefer Charlotte." Noa said.

"Charlotte has more spunk." Lilah smiled.

"...Charlotte." Mary let out a small smile.

"That's chill too!" Charlotte smiled, pulling them out the train.

All the girls separated for the feast, going to the tables they were assigned. They watched as the sorting hat placed people in the houses. Once it was over, Lilah looked over her food at Mary. She smiled, waved, and went back to the food. Mary blushed slightly, piling food on her plate. She felt her stomach turn into a million butterflies.

Mary wanted to kiss her, badly. She wanted to kiss the puff, making it clear no one could touch Lilah. She wouldn't allow it.

Yet she was scared it would make things awkward between them, so she ate more potatoes.

Lilah sighed, yearning for her kiss.

Both girls, upset with their lack of courage to kiss, ate. They would imagine themselves in each other's arms soon, but for now they would host their very own pity parties.

If only they knew they both loved the other.

* * *

 **AN: Wow, it's been awhile.**

 **I'm sorry it's short and shit.**

 **Uh, yeah.**


End file.
